Jules: Don't you enjoy anything anymore... like girls?
Kevin: I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that?

Kevin: How come you never ask me if I want a date?
Naomi: I thought you were gay!

I wish I had your passion, Ray... Misdirected though it might be, it is still a passion. I used to feel that way about things, but...

Terence Mann

Men... Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

Leslie

Frank Costello: Good day, father.
Older Priest: Good day, Francis.
Frank Costello: You recall our chat? Little boys. Sucking on their peckers, etc... and so forth. I am as God made me. Is that your rationale? May I remind you - in this archdiocese, God don't run the bingo.
Young Priest: May I remind you - that pride comes before the fall.
Frank Costello: How's Sister Mary Teresa doing? Had a tasty relationship before she took her vows.
[Costello hands the priests a nude drawing of the nun]
Frank Costello: Enjoy your clams, cocksuckers.

Alec: You cannot have the Pretenders' 1st album! That's mine.
Leslie: I bought it.
Alec: You did not! You can have all the Billy Joels... except The Stranger.
Leslie: I'm taking Thriller and Mahler's ninth.
Alec: Kevin is so fond of Mahler.
Leslie: I moved in with Jules.
Alec: Oh how nice, rommies again... No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons.
Leslie: You got me those for Valentine's Day. Remember?
Alec: You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.
Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.

Nash: She's so small.
Charles: Well, she's young, John. That's how they come.

It's called "life," John. Activities available; just add meaning.

Alicia

Nash: You once said that God must be a painter because he gave us so many colors.
Alicia: I didn't think you were listening...
Nash: I was listening.

Nash: Well, Martin Hansen. It is Martin, isn't it?
Hansen: Why yes, John, it is.
Nash: I assume you've gotten quite used to miscalculation. I read your pre-prints. Both of 'em. One on Nazi scientists and the other one on, uh... non-linear equations, and I'm extremely confident that there's not one seminal or innovative idea in either one of them... Enjoy your punch.

I arrived last night. Right in time for English Department cocktails. The cock was mine. The tail belonged to a lovely young thing with a passion for D.H. Lawrence.

Charles

Is my roommate a dick?

Charles

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