Saruman: We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.
Gandalf: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?

Captain Miller: Caparzo, get that kid back up there!
Private Caparzo: Captain, the decent thing to do would be take her over to the next town.
Captain Miller: We're not here to do the decent thing, we're here to follow fucking orders!

Paul Edgecomb: I wanna hear about this new inmate, aside from how big he is!
Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Monstrous big!

Alec: You cannot have the Pretenders' 1st album! That's mine.
Leslie: I bought it.
Alec: You did not! You can have all the Billy Joels... except The Stranger.
Leslie: I'm taking Thriller and Mahler's ninth.
Alec: Kevin is so fond of Mahler.
Leslie: I moved in with Jules.
Alec: Oh how nice, rommies again... No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons.
Leslie: You got me those for Valentine's Day. Remember?
Alec: You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.
Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.

Kevin Lomax: In the Bible you lose. We're destined to lose dad.
John Milton: Well consider the source son.

Buzz Gunderson: Oh he's real abstract. He's hmm, he's different.
Jim Stark: That's right. That's right. I'm cute too.

Nobody's perfect. There was never a perfect person around. You just have half-angel and half-devil in you.


I run shit here! Y'all just live here!

Alonzo Harris

[Discussing the Scottish rebellion] Who shall I sent to negotiate with this Wallace? Not my gentle son, his appearance would only encourage Wallace to move further into England.


One down, couple of billion to go.

Ellie Arroway

Unless you came in here to wipe my ass, I believe we're through.

Ellis Loew

[Mortally wounded, realizing she's at the tree of souls] "I need to get some samples."

Dr. Grace Augustine

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