Move it, Speed! It's getting ugly out there!


Oh, wake up, Norma, you'd be killing yourself to an empty house. The audience left twenty years ago.

Joe Gillis

Carmen: Is it fair to bribe the driver to turn around and go back home?
Bridget: Oh yeah, with what money? Cause Tibby is the only one of us working this summer.
Tibby: Hey, hey, hey. I actually stacked my last shelf at Wallmans, thank you very much.
Lena: Congratulations!
Bridget: Does this mean there's gonna be a ceremonial burning of the smock?
Tibby: No, actually, Duncan took the smock, but I do have my nametag.
Bridget: Can we burn it?

I did something really bad once and I'm never gonna be the same!

Ben Thomas

Brutus "Brutal" Howell: [at mock execution] Arlen Bitterbuck, you have been condemned to die by a jury of your peers, sentence imposed by a judge in good standing in this state. Do you have anything to say before the sentence is carried out?
Toot-Toot: [gleefully] Yeah! I want a fried chicken dinner with gravy on the taters, I want to shit in your hat, and I got to have Mae West sit on my face, because I am one horny motherfucker!

British referee: Ten minutes, love.
Maggie Fitzgerald: Man says he loves me.
Frankie Dunn: Well, he's probably not the first one to say that.
Maggie Fitzgerald: First since my daddy.
Frankie Dunn: Hmm.
Maggie Fitzgerald: I win, you think he'll propose?
Frankie Dunn: You win, I'LL propose.

Teddy: To set yourself a puzzle you won't ever solve. You know how many towns, how many guys called James G? Or John G? Shit, Leonard, I'm a John G.
Leonard Shelby: Your name's Teddy.
Teddy: My mother calls me Teddy. I'm John Edward Gammell.

You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?


I don't enjoy killing, Mr. Smith. I do it because I'm addicted to it.

Mr. Earl Brooks

I blew the meet with Matsui.

Linus Caldwell

Clarence: Oh, now wait a minute. That's an idea now, isn't it?
[looks upward]
Clarence: What do you think? Ahhh... All right, George, you've got your wish: You've never been born.
[Wind begins to blow violently outside the shack; Clarence yells out the door]
Clarence: You don't need to make all THAT fuss about it!

Principal Gardner: Charlie, there are more important things than popularity!
Charlie Bartlett: Like what? Cause I'm seventeen. And right now, popularity's pretty damn important!
Principal Gardner: Like what you do with that popularity.

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