Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Prepare to mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Port, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pray!
Recruits: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Order, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: At ease! Good night, ladies.
Recruits: Good night, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [to the watchman] Hit it, sweetheart.

I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.

Private Cowboy

Animal Mother: Freedom?
Animal Mother: You'd better flush out your head, new guy. This isn't about freedom; this is a slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is "poontang".

Corn beef should not be blue

Isaac Davis

I feel like we're in a Noel Coward play. Someone should be making martinis.

Isaac Davis

I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.

Isaac Davis

Let's fool around. Let's do it some strange way that you've always wanted to, but nobody would do with you.

Tracy

My ex-wife left me for another woman.

Isaac Davis

She's 17. I'm 42 and she's 17. I'm older than her father, can you believe that? I'm dating a girl, wherein, I can beat up her father.

Isaac Davis

Yale: You are so self-righteous, you know. I mean we're just people. We're just human beings, you know? You think you're God.
Isaac Davis: I... I gotta model myself after someone.

This is so antiseptic. It's empty. Why do you think this is funny? You're going by audience reaction? This is an audience that's raised on television, their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!

Isaac Davis

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