I can't be a wizard. I'm just Harry, just Harry.


Stomach of the week. Unemployed actor had frankfurter, french fries, alcohol, and sperm. Hell of a last supper, don't you think?

Ray Pinker

Is my roommate a dick?


Jake Hoyt: That's street justice.
Alonzo Harris: What's wrong with street justice?
Jake Hoyt: Oh, what, so just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris: God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks like 'em.

Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.

Do you know what everyone is saying about you? They're saying you froze up!


Dagmar: Don't you want to be an uncle?
Lars Lindstrom: Don't you want to be a mom?
Dagmar: [pauses, whispers] Yes. But I'm not able to have children of my own.

I guess you've noticed something a little strange with Dad. It's okay, though. I'm still Dad.

Roy Neary

You're a poor blend of impulses and impurities.

Jeanine Matthews

Anna: I don't kiss strange men.
Dan: Neither do I.

Mayor Vaughn: I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. Now, if the people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island...
Brody: That doesn't mean we have to serve them up as smorgasbord!

Dumbledore: Harry, do you know why it is that Professor Quirrell could not bear to have you touch him?
[Harry shakes his head]
Dumbledore: It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark.
[Harry reaches up to touch his scar]
Dumbledore: No no, this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin.
Harry: And what is that?
Dumbledore: Love, Harry. Love.

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