Would you stop starin' at her tits, Rayon, you're startin' to look normal.

Ron Woodroof

Watch what you eat and who you eat.

Ron Woodroof

Rog: Who the hell's Rock Hudson?
Clint: He's an actor, dumbass. Haven't you seen North By Northwest?

Welcome to the Dallas Buyers Club!

Ron Woodroof

He was my friend too!

Dr. Eve Saks

[on boyfriend] Isn't he cute?

Rayon

Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante Slate, Jr.: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race!
Lightning: Nope, it's because you're short and black!
Dante Slate, Jr.: What was Jesus like? I'm curious. Was he cool?

HEY! What'cha doing? We're just here to buy a little dinner! You don't have to punch everything!

Lightning

[looking at a fat man] You can't be my trainer. Maybe I believe you ATE my trainer.

Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen

Dante Slate, Jr.: I can get you a part in Hangover 4!
Evander Holyfield: I'm listening.
Mike Tyson: You sonofabitch!
Dante Slate, Jr.: Wait, WAIT, WAIT!
Evander Holyfield: Grab your ears!

Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: I wanted to see my old friend, he's been ducking me for thirty years! I missed him!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: It don't look like you're missing any meals. I'm outta here!
Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [wallops Sharp] No you're not!
Dante Slate, Jr.: This is not the behavior of old men!

Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.
Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!

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