Kidding? How am I meant to know you're kidding? You're breaking my fucking balls.

Tommy DeVito

I'm not one of your little friends, you fucking midget.

Jake Mazursky

Michael: Is that why you slapped my brother around in public?
Fredo: Aw, now that, that was nothin', Mike. Now, now, uh, Moe didn't mean nothin' by that. Sure he flies off the handle once in a while, but Moe and me, we're good friends, right Moe? Huh?
Moe Greene: I got a business to run. I gotta kick asses sometimes to make it run right. We had a little argument, Freddy and I, so I had to straighten him out.
Michael: You straightened my brother out?
Moe Greene: He was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time! Players couldn't get a drink at the table! What's wrong with you?
Michael: I leave for New York tomorrow, think about a price.
Moe Greene: Sonofabitch! Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!

When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces.


Never you mind, honey. Never you mind.

Ruth Popper

I'm a miracle man.


If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date.

Danny Ocean

My practices aren't designed for your enjoyment.

Coach Norman Dale

This is a shocking experience!


Tracy Abernathy: I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse?
Graham Hess: I suppose it would depend on its usage.
Tracy Abernathy: How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?
Graham Hess: It's a curse.
Tracy Abernathy: Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

[returning Zack home drunk] Hey, you wanted him, you got him!

Jake Mazursky

Senator Orton Worrell: Your country needs you to go back. You know it's the right thing to do.
Brandon King: Sir, I've always done the right thing. And this is wrong.

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