[after Al tells him that professional wrestling is fake] Uh, Al, I know you must be smart because you have a scientific-style job, but if this shit is fake and everyone knows it's fake, why the hell would anybody waste their time watching it?

The Kid

[after Al fix his car] Look at that! You're a goddamn wizard, Al!

The Kid

Luvven Coddle: I sense a, a yearning in you. A, a searching, almost, as if you're lost. You've been lost for a long, long time. Am I right? You found Jesus, Al.
Al Fountain: Why? Is he missing?

Ben: [Hears a noise] Bro, can we go?
Quentin Jacobsen: What if it's Margo?
Ben: What if it is literally anything else?

All the paper kids drinking beer some bum bought for them at the paper convenience store. Everyone demented with the mania of owning things. All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people, too. I've lived here for eighteen years and I have never once in my life come across anyone who cares about anything that matters.

Margo

What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.

Quentin Jacobsen

Margo always loved mysteries. And in everything that came afterward, I could never stop thinking that maybe she loved mysteries so much that she became one.

Quentin Jacobsen

It's a shame, don't you think? All the strings inside him broke.

Margo

Quentin Jacobsen: Interesting capitalization.
Margo: Yeah. I'm a big believer in random capitalization. The rules of capitalization are so unfair to words in the middle.

Margo: Everything's uglier up close.
Quentin Jacobsen: Not you.

Uncle Frank: You got any friends, Andy?
Andrew: No.
Uncle Frank: Oh, why's that?
Andrew: I don't know, I just never really saw the use.
Uncle Frank: Well, who are you going to play with otherwise? Lennon and McCartney, they were school buddies, am I right?
Andrew: Charlie Parker didn't know anybody 'til Jo Jones threw a cymbal at his head.
Uncle Frank: So that's your idea of success, huh?
Andrew: I think being the greatest musician of the 20th century is anybody's idea of success.
Jim: Dying broke and drunk and full of heroin at the age of 34 is not exactly my idea of success.
Andrew: I'd rather die drunk, broke at 34 and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who I was.
Uncle Frank: Ah, but your friends will remember you, that's the point.
Andrew: None of us were friends with Charlie Parker. *That's* the point.
Uncle Frank: Travis and Dustin? They have plenty of friends and plenty of purpose.
Andrew: I'm sure they'll make great school board presidents someday.
Dustin: Oh, that's what this is all about? You think you're better than us?
Andrew: You catch on quick. Are you in Model UN?
Travis: I got a reply for you, Andrew. You think Carleton football's a joke? Come play with us.
Andrew: Four words you will never hear from the NFL.
Aunt Emma: Who wants dessert?

Nieman, you earned the part. Alternates, will you clean the blood off my drum set?

Terence Fletcher

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