Don't toot your horn honey, you're not that good.


As dermatological conferences go, it was a riot.


[interrupts with game-show buzzer sound] eeehhhhh! Time's up! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!"


Al: A couple of guys, I owe them. So, that's what I did. I gave 'em the money. That's what I did.
Nicky Santoro: Yeah?
Al: Yeah.
Nicky Santoro: You call yourself a man? You know you're a lyin', low-life, motherfuckin' gambling degenerate prick? You know that's what you are? Two small kids at home. I gave you money to pay the fuckin' rent and buy groceries, put the heat on. You know your wife called Frankie and told him the fuckin' heat's off? Huh? And you didn't gamble that fuckin' money? You're gonna stand here and tell me that?

The most liberating constitutional amendment in history, passed by corruption, aided and abetted by the purest man in America.

Thaddeus Stevens

Kevin Lomax: What about love?
John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.

[Lincoln quoting Falstaff from Shakespeare's "King Henry the Fourth"] We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

Abraham Lincoln

Norma Desmond: Don't be silly.
[hands Joe a present]
Norma Desmond: Here, I was going to give it to you at midnight.
Joe Gillis: Norma, I can't take it, you've bought me enough.
Norma Desmond: Shut up, I'm rich! I'm richer than all this new Hollywood trash! I've got a million dollars.
Joe Gillis: Keep it.
Norma Desmond: Own three blocks downtown, I've got oil in Bakersfield, pumping, pumping, pumping! What's it for but to buy us anything we want!
Joe Gillis: Cut out that "us" business!
Norma Desmond: What's the matter with you?
Joe Gillis: What right do you have to take me for granted?
Norma Desmond: What right? Do you want me to tell you?
Joe Gillis: Has it ever occurred to you that I may have a life of my own? That there may be some girl I'm crazy about?
Norma Desmond: Who? Some car hop, or dress extra?
Joe Gillis: What I'm trying to say is that I'm all wrong for you. You want a Valentino, somebody with polo ponies, a big shot!
Norma Desmond: What you're trying to say is that you don't want me to love you. Say it. Say it!
[slaps him hard across the face]

Susan Pevensie: Who are you?
Prince Caspian: I am Prince Caspian.

A.J.: Mr. President, this is an election year. If you're looking for female companionship, we can make certain arrangements that will ensure total privacy.
President Andrew Shepherd: I don't want you to get me a girl, A.J.! What is this, Vegas?
A.J.: No sir, this is the White House.

Plutarch Heavensbee: Listen to me, no one else can do this but her.
President Coin: She won’t be able to handle it. The Games destroyed her.

Forrest Gump: You could come home with me, to my house in Greenbow, Jenny, you and little Forrest. If you're sick I'll take care of you.
Jenny Curran: Will you marry me, Forrest?
Forrest Gump: Okay...

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