Graham Hess: Now we are going to enjoy this meal. No one can stop us from enjoying this meal, so enjoy it! Stop crying!
Merrill: Graham...
Morgan: Don't yell at her!
Graham Hess: All right, since you're all not going to eat, I'm going to try some of everything.

Officer Caroline: What kind of a machine bends a stalk of corn without breaking it?
Graham Hess: It can't be by hand, it's too perfect.

Isabel, you are going to feel very silly when this turns out to be make-believe.

Graham Hess

Graham Hess: You're scaring your sister.
Bo: I'm already scared.


Graham Hess: You want me to curse?
Merrill: You don't mean it. It's just for show. What?
Graham Hess: Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
Merrill: Just make noises, then.
Graham Hess: Explain "noises".
Merrill: Are you gonna do this or what?
Graham Hess: No, I'm not.
Merrill: All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time?

Merrill: On the count of three. One...
Graham Hess: All right.
Merrill: two... three!
Graham Hess: Ahh! I'm insane with anger!
Merrill: We're gonna beat your ass bitch! We're gonna tear your head off!
Graham Hess: I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!

Graham Hess: I cursed.
Merrill: I heard.

It's happening.

Graham Hess

[giving the dog water]
Bo: It tastes funny.
Morgan: It does not. It's just tap water. Besides, he licks his butt every day, I don't think he'll mind.

Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Graham Hess

The nerds were right.

Merrill

Morgan: We have to tape this.
Bo: My ballet recital!
Morgan: Listen, Bo. This is very important. Everything people have written about in science books is going to change. The history of the world's future is on the TV right now. We need to record this so you can show *your* children this tape and say *you* were there. For your children, Bo.
Bo: My ballet recital!

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