You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.

Teddy

Leonard Shelby: These tracks are just a few days old.
Teddy: What are you, Pocahontas?

Leonard Shelby: I don't think they'd let someone like me carry a gun.
Teddy: I fucking hope not.

Sammy Jankis wrote himself endless notes. But he'd get mixed up. I've got a more graceful solution to the memory problem. I'm disciplined and organized. I use habit and routine to make my life possible. Sammy had no drive. No reason to make it work.

Leonard Shelby

Sammy had no drive, no reason to make it work. Me? Yeah, I got a reason.

Leonard Shelby

You know what? I think I'm gonna use you. I'm telling you now because I'll enjoy it so much more if I know that you could stop me if you weren't such a fucking freak!

Natalie

You sad, sad freak. I can say whatever the fuck I want, and you won't remember. We'll still be best friends. Or maybe even lovers.

Natalie

Burt Hadley: What's it like?
Leonard Shelby: It's like waking. Like you just woke up.
Burt Hadley: That must suck.

Is that what your little note says? It must be hard living your life off a couple of scraps of paper. You mix your laundry list with your grocery list you'll end up eating your underwear for breakfast.

Natalie

Teddy: Was he scared?
Leonard Shelby: Yeah, I think it was your sinister moustache.

You're not a killer. That's why you're so good at it.

Teddy

Leonard Shelby: I take it I've told you about my condition.
Teddy: Only every time I see ya.

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