[looking in the mirror while talking to his assistant] Get me on the a.m. shows, Larry King, cover of the Journal. Gonna have to do something about this scar. Make sure they only shoot me from my left side.

Victor Von Doom

Conrad: I've been here before.
Nicholas: I took you here for your birthday.
Conrad: No, I used to buy crystal meth from the Maitre D.

Come on, man, play the fuckin' thing!

Johnny Cash

David Schultz: Hey, John. What's happening?
David Schultz: Whoa.
John du Pont: You have a problem with me?
Fred Cole: No, John, don't!
David Schultz: John, I don't have a problem. Hey, John...

Don't ever let anyone ever say to you, 'You shouldn't regret anything.' Don't do that, don't! You regret what you fucking want! And use that, use that, use that regret for anything, any way you want. You can use it, okay?

Earl Partridge

Julia: You can't see that Louis Waters is weird?
Clarissa Vaughn: I can see that he's sad.
Julia: Well. All of your friends are sad.

I'd like to say a few words about commitment. About honor. About responsibility. About a very special someone and admitting to her... [hits Virgil] Get up. Pull the chair out. ...admitting her in front of everybody that her wedding... and that very special honeymoon trip to Epcot Center... will have to be postponed.

Terry Benedict

I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!

Murphey Bivens

Alan Kligman, Esq.: Linda, stop. Now you take a moment, you breathe, and one thing at a time.
Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq.: You know what would help you, Linda?
Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq.: You need to sober up.
Linda Partridge: Now, you must really shut the fuck up now, please - shut the fuck up.
Alan Kligman, Esq.: Linda.
Linda Partridge: I have to go.
Alan Kligman, Esq.: Let me call you a car Linda.
Linda Partridge: Shut the fuck up.

True story, last weekend there was a religious revival at Madison Square Garden. Bishop Fulton Sheen made such a stirring speech that 10,000 people converted to Catholicism. Then Billy Graham got up and did some inspired preaching and 10,000 people converted to Protestantism, then to close the program, Pat Boone got up and sang "There's A Gold Mine In The Sky" and 20,000 Jews joined the Air Force!

Charlie Dillon

You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.


I wanna remember us just as we are now.

Benjamin Button

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