Neville, you're supposed to stroke it!


Adam Leavitt: What did you say to Mayes to get her to stop crying?
Ronald Fleury: I said we were going to kill them all.

Yeah. It's an outgoing message so I think you need to sound a little more outgoing.


You were the one who made mom leave! You were screwing up all the time!


[to his team taking laps] If you all didn't jack off too much, maybe you'd stay in shape.

Coach Popper

Anna Crowe, I am in love... in love I am.

Malcolm Crowe

Captain America: It's grass.
George Hanson: [Seeing his first marijuana cigarette] Lord have mercy! Is that what that is?

[to quarterback Mike Winchell] You're playing like the village idiot! You want people to think of you as the village idiot?

Coach Gary Gaines

Bryan: I have a daughter who wants to be a singer. I was wondering if you have any tips for her.
Diva: Yeah, I do. Tell her pick another career.

Little Bill: What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Little Bill's wife: What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?

The Kid: [At the swimming hole] We're only wearing suits because you're here. Usually we go naked.
Purlene DupreFloatie Dupre: So do we.
The Kid: Well, why don't we all take our suits off, then?
Purlene Dupre: Look, peckerhead, I ain't losin' the goddamned suit.

Capt. West: Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine
Capt. West: Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

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