I have to talk to your father about this game.

Dalton Russell

Detective Frazier my ass, where's my fucking turban?

Vikram Walia

Kirby: I always thought we'd be friends forever.
Kevin: Yeah, well forever got a lot shorter all of a sudden.

Wendy: We're really worried about this affair with your boss.
Jules: I don't know why you're both so worried... So, I bop him for a couple of years, get his job when he gets his hands caught in the vault, do a black mink ad, retire in utter disgrace, then write a best seller and be a fabulous host on my own talk show...

Alec: You're being arrested for drunk driving.
Billy: Drunk definitely, I don't know if you could call it driving

Billy: The wet look is in, asshole.
Alec: That's Mr. Asshole to you.

Jules: Don't you enjoy anything anymore... like girls?
Kevin: I enjoy being afraid of Russia. It's a harmless fear, but it makes America feel better, Russia gets an inflated sense of national worth from our paranoia. How's that?

Kevin: How come you never ask me if I want a date?
Naomi: I thought you were gay!

Men... Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

Leslie

Alec: You walked out on this relationship.
Leslie: I didn't walk out. You walked out.
Alec: You fucked Kevin!
Leslie: You fucked many!
Alec: Nameless, faceless many.
Leslie: Thank you. I feel much better now.

Alec: You cannot have the Pretenders' 1st album! That's mine.
Leslie: I bought it.
Alec: You did not! You can have all the Billy Joels... except The Stranger.
Leslie: I'm taking Thriller and Mahler's ninth.
Alec: Kevin is so fond of Mahler.
Leslie: I moved in with Jules.
Alec: Oh how nice, rommies again... No Springsteen is leaving this house! You can have all the Carly Simons.
Leslie: You got me those for Valentine's Day. Remember?
Alec: You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.
Leslie: I didn't run out on anything. You ran out.

Fluff and fold, buddy. Soon as I make it really big, I'm going fluff and fold.

Kirby

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