Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you?
Violet Beauregarde: Well yeah, we're children.
Willy Wonka: Well that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
Mike Teavee: You were once.
Willy Wonka: Was not. Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.

Willy Wonka: I sure hope no part of him gets left behind.
Mr. Teavee: What do you mean?
Willy Wonka: Uh, well... sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way through. If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?
Mr. Teavee: What kind of a question is that?
Willy Wonka: No need to snap, just a question.

Ew, somebody grab him.

Willy Wonka

Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.

Willy Wonka: If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?
Mr. Teavee: What kind of question is that?
Willy Wonka: No need to snap. Just a question.

Augustus Gloop / Augustus Gloop / The great big greedy Nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy foul and infantile / Come on, we cry, the time is ripe to send him shooting up the pipe / But don't, dear children be alarmed, Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, Augustus Gloop will not be harmed / Although of course we must admit, he will be altered quite a bit / Slowly wheels go round and round, and cogs begin to grind and pound / This greedy brute, this louces ear, is loved by people everywhere, for who could hate or bare a grudge against a luscious bit of fudge?

Oompa Loompa

Violet Beauregarde: [hugs Wonka] Mr. Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka: [freaked out] Oh. I don't care.
Violet Beauregarde: Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl who's gonna win the special prize at the end.
Willy Wonka: Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.

Willy Wonka: Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon.
Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas sing] Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, a great big greedy nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy, foul, and infantile...

Grandpa George: The kids who are going to find the golden tickets are the ones who can afford to buy candy bars every day. Our Charlie only gets one a year. He doesn't have a chance.
Grandma Josephine: Everyone has a chance, Charlie.
Grandpa George: Mark my words. The first kid to find a golden ticket will be fat, fat, fat.
Augustus Gloop: [Augustus appears and cameras flash] I am eating the Wonka bar and I taste something that is not chocolate. Or coconut. Or walnut, or peanut butter, or caramel. Or sprinkles. So I look and I find the golden ticket.
Grandpa George: [the Bucket home sees the TV with Augustus on the screen] Told you he'd be a porker.

Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback.
Mr. Salt: I see.
Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often?
Willy Wonka: Increasingly... today.

Everything in this room is eatable. Even *I'm* eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Willy Wonka

This is the puppet hospital and burn center... It's relatively new.

Willy Wonka

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