Mrs. Gloop: Where is my son? Where does that pipe go to?
Willy Wonka: That pipe happens to go to a room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry-flavoured chocolate-coated fudge.
Mrs. Gloop: Then he will be made into strawberry-flavoured chocolate-coated fudge? They'll be selling him by the pound all over the world?
Willy Wonka: No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus-flavoured chocolate-coated Gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.

Augustus Gloop: Don't you want to know our names?
Willy Wonka: I can't see how it would matter.

Willy Wonka: My name is Willy Wonka.
Veruca Salt: Then shouldn't you be up there?
[points to stage]
Willy Wonka: Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?

Veruca Salt, the little brute / Has just gone down the garbage chute / And she will meet as she descends / A rather different set of friends / A rather different set of friends / A rather different set of friends / A fish head for example cut / This morning from a halibut / An oyster from an oyster stew / A steak that no-one else would chew / And lots of other things as well / Each with its rather horrid smell / These are Veruca's newfound friends / That she will meet as she descends / These are Veruca's newfound friends / Who went and spoiled her / Who indeed? Who pandered to her every need? / Who turned her into such a brat? / Who are the culprits, who did that? / The guilty ones - now this is sad / Are dear old mum and loving dad.

Oompa Loompa

The most important thing that we've ever learned / The most important thing we've learned as far as children are concerned / Is never, never let them near a television set, or better still just don't install the idiotic thing at all. / It rots the senses in the head / It kills imagination dead / It clogs and clutters up the mind / It makes a child so dull and blind / He can no longer understand a fairytale, in fairyland / His brain becomes as soft as cheese / His thinking powers rust and freeze / He cannot think, he only sees / Regarding little Mike Teavee, we very much regret that we / Shall simply have to wait and see / Wwe very much regret that we / Shall simply have to wait and see / If we can get him back to size / But if we can't / It serves him right!

Oompa Loompa

Charlie Bucket: So... if I go with you, to live in your factory, I'll never see my family again?
Willy Wonka: Yeah! Consider that a bonus!

I've tried it on, like, 20 Oompa Loompahs and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!

Willy Wonka

Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking.

Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka: [coming upon a tiny door] An important room, this. It is a chocolate factory, after all.
Mike Teavee: Then, why's the door so small?
Willy Wonka: That's to keep all the great big chocolatey flavor inside.

Once again, you really shouldn't mumble, 'cause it's really starting to bum me out!

Willy Wonka

Sheriff Rawlins: Okay boys, gather around here and listen up. We're shuttin' it down, Wyatt Earp's here to mop up.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: That's funny. Wyatt Earp.

If they can dye the river green today, why can't they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?

Marshal Biggs

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