Melvin Udall: Oh, you were talking about your dog. I thought you were referring to that colored man inside your apartment.
Simon Bishop: Uh, what color would that be?
Melvin Udall: Like uh, like thick MO-lasses.

How much more you got to eat? Appetites aren't as big as your noses, huh?

Melvin Udall

As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap what or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?

Melvin Udall

A compliment is something nice about somebody else.

Carol Connelly

Carol Connelly: You're going to die soon with that diet. You know that, right?
Melvin Udall: Oh, we're all going to die soon. I will, you will, and it sure sounds like your son will.

Carol Connelly: Is it a secret what you're doing here?
Melvin Udall: I had to see you.
Carol Connelly: Because?
Melvin Udall: It relaxes me. I'd feel better sitting ouside your apartment on the curb than any other place I can think of or imagine.

I'm not the guy you kill. I'm the guy you buy off! Are you so blind that you can't see that? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand. I'm your easiest problem and you try to kill me?

Michael Clayton

Arthur Edens: If you wanted to commit me you should have kept me in Wisconsin where my arrest, the videotape, and the eyewitness statements would have been enough to satisfy jurisdiction. I have no criminal record in the state of New York. And there's only one standard for involuntary commitment: danger. Is the subject a danger to himself or to others. If you want to do this Michael you better have your balls in order because the one place you don't want to see me is in court!

Marty Bach: We've got 600 attorney's here. We've got to find out who's an expert on psyciatric commitment statutes.
Michael Clayton: I can tell you who that is: Arthur.

It's a three year contract, with a confidentiality clause. Bulletproof, retroactive. Because, with everything that you know about people at this place, it's a little unnerving when you march in here and ask for 80,000 dollars.

Barry Grissom

You're my meal ticket Marty. If you leave it's just me and Barry in a room and I'm trying to explain what the hell it is I do around here.

Michael Clayton

I'm sexually paranoid.

Jip

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