The game is tailored specifically to each participant. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you.

Jim Feingold

We're like an experiential Book-of-the-Month Club.

Jim Feingold

I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. I want to meet the wizard.

Nicholas

Conrad: This is for you.
Nicholas: You shouldn't have.
Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything?

Nicholas: [reading card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs.
Conrad: Call that number.
Nicholas: Why?
Conrad: Make your life... fun.
Nicholas: Fun.
Conrad: You know what that is... uh, you've seen other people have it.

Did I have a choice? Did I have a choice?

Nicholas

They won't leave me alone! I'm a goddamn human piñata!

Conrad

Nicholas: No, what is this? What are you... selling?
Jim Feingold: Oh. It's a game.

New Member Ted: This was the best one ever!
Jim Feingold: [shakes Nicholas' hand] You know, thank God you jumped, because if you didn't, I was supposed to throw you off!

Nicholas: What's that?
Conrad: [signs document] This... is... the bill.
Nicholas: Do you want to split it?
Conrad: [exhales] Oh God yes! I'll take some of that...
[shows Nicholas enormous number at bottom]
Nicholas: [shocked] Oh my God.

And you really believe that just because you publish children's books, people care about my reputation? You can have pictures of me wearing nipple rings, butt fucking Captain Kangaroo. The only thing they care about is the stock and whether that stock is up or down!

Nicholas

Daniel Schorr: [on TV] There's a tiny camera looking at you right now.
Nicholas: That's impossible.
Daniel Schorr: You're right, impossible. You're having a conversation with your television.

FREE Movie Newsletter