Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my $12,000 calf skin jacket. So ya got the semen, okay you got the human ejaculate ... [checks watch] ... thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo Croop: Do you want an apology?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really truly mean it.

I started this war killing Germans in Africa. Now I'm killing Germans in Germany. I promised my crew a long time ago I'd keep them alive. I've been with these fine gentlemen for years.

Wardaddy

Listen close, and listen hard / The tale of Violet Beauregarde / This dreadful girl she sees no wrong / Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / She goes on chewing till at last / Her chewing muscles grow so fast / And from her face her giant chin / Sticks out just like a violin / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / For years and years she chews away / Her jaws get stronger every day / And with one great tremendous chew / They bite the poor girl's tongue in two / And that is why we try so hard / To save Miss Violet Beauregarde / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long.

Oompa Loompa

Move over, Cabbage.

Prince Philip

Tonight's gonna be the best night ever!

Charlie

Jack Dupree: So I take it you're not going?
Hollis Elmore: No, no. I'm going to Kentucky to take Fort Knox with a fucking slingshot, and then I'm going to hell after Hitler.
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: Would you please find your fangs! You fucking coward. What is wrong with you?
[Hollis shows him the middle finger]
"Pistol" Pete Deeks: Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Jake La Motta: Is it done?
Irma: No, it's not done.
Jake La Motta: Don't overcook it. You overcook it, it's no good. It defeats its own purpose.
[Irma gives Jake a stern but nasty look]
Jake La Motta: What are you doin'? I just said don't overcook it. You're overcookin' it, bring it over.
Irma: You want your steak?
Jake La Motta: Bring it over. Bring it over! It's like a piece of charcoal! Bring it over here!
Irma: You want your steak?
Jake La Motta: YEAH, RIGHT NOW!
[Irma stabs the steak, exits the stove and slams the steak on his plate. She hastily pours carrots on the plate]
Irma: Okay. There's your stupid steak. Can't wait for it to be done?
Jake La Motta: No, I can't wait.
Irma: Good! Okay? Happy? Happy?
Jake La Motta: That's all I want. That's all I want!
Irma: That's... there! No, more! There!
[Jake routinely flips the table, spilling the contents all over the floor]
Jake La Motta: Bodder me abott a steak? Huh?
Irma: That's GREAT!
Jake La Motta: YOU BODDA ME ABOTT A STEAK?
Irma: YEAH!

Mary Jane: I wanna... act. On stage.
Peter Parker: Really? Well that's perfect. You were awesome in all the school plays.
Mary Jane: Really?
Peter Parker: Yeah. I cried like a baby when you played Cinderella.
Mary Jane: Peter, that was first grade.
Peter Parker: Well, even so...

[introducing Carol to Simon] Carol the waitress, Simon the fag.

Melvin Udall

Enjoy your fright.

Bob

Mike McDermott: You comin' up?
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: No, I've been standin' out here all this time just to say hi.
Mike McDermott: All right, listen, things haven't been that smooth on the homefront so, you know, tone it down a little, all right?
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: Tone done what, motherfucker?

In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video and audio cassette. Seduce and Destroy will teach you the techniques to have any hardbody blonde just dripping to wet your dock. Bottom line? Language. The magical key to unlocking the female analytical mindset. Tap directly into her hopes, her wants, her fears, her desires, and her sweet little panties. Learn how to make that lady "friend" your sex-starved servant. I don't care how you look. I don't care what car you drive. I don't care what your last bank statement says. Seduce and Destroy produces an instant money-back guarantee trance-like state that will get you this - naughty sauce you want fast. Hey - how many more times do you need to hear the all-too-famous line of 'I just don't feel that way about you?'

Frank T.J. Mackey

FREE Movie Newsletter