Shoeless Joe Jackson: What's with the lights?
Ray Kinsella: Oh, all the stadiums have them now. Even Wrigley Field.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: Makes it harder to see the ball.
Ray Kinsella: Yeah, well, the owners found that more people can attend night games.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: [Shakes his head] Owners.

Alice: Is it because she's successful?
Dan: No. It's because... she doesn't need me.

Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.

Mayor Vaughn

Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?

Claudia Wilson Gator

We must not expect happiness, Sayuri. It is not something we deserve. When life goes well, it is a sudden gift; it cannot last forever...

Chairman

Fuck the world.

John J. Rambo

Coach Norman Dale: Sit down.
Rade: You gotta have five out there!
Coach Norman Dale: Sit... down!
Referee: You need one more, coach.
Coach Norman Dale: My team's on the floor!

[about the soap] Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

Narrator

Where would we be without our painful childhoods?

Dr. Finch

David Mills: He's fuckin' with us!
[Mills bends over a desk]
David Mills: See this? This is us!

Magneto: What's your name?
Pyro: John.
Magneto: What's your real name, John?
Pyro: Pyro.

Deirdre Burroughs: I disapprove of your choices.
Augusten Burroughs: I haven't had a choice!
Deirdre Burroughs: You did when you wrote this, didn't you?
Augusten Burroughs: You read my journal?
Deirdre Burroughs: Don't try and compete with me, Augusten. If you move back in with me, I won't allow it. You'll only get hurt. When I become a very famous woman, they'll write that I had a son who was a writer too, who doesn't compare to my brilliance. I want more for you than that.
Augusten Burroughs: Did you mix your pills again?

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