[while high] The Emperor... wants to conquer outer space. Yoda... wants to explore inner space.

Moff

Karen Eiffel: Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself, in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat.
Harold Crick: This is my stop I should go.
Karen Eiffel: He was elated and surprised by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Mrs. Pascal. So elated that he exited the transit authority bus a good 27 blocks too early and would now have to walk.

Marriage Counselor: How often do you have sex?
Jane Smith: I don't understand the question.

Wolverine: It's me!
Cyclops: Prove it!
Wolverine: You're a dick.
Cyclops: Okay.

You can't ask me to battle nature in my own heart.

The Duchess of Devonshire

That's a thick ass door!

Charlie Wilson

Everyone thinks about leaping off a building.

Karen Eiffel

Sir Ivy: You see... this is one of the rare moments, where your ass gets to be completely honest... and if i'm asking you what you said to Mecklen, assume the shit is rhetorical, assume I already know.
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: What do you see right now? You see exactly, and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion Ivy, that is the lie that I tell your eyes, makin' the magic happen, in the moment, in that split second... but seeing behind this motherfucker and knowing... that it's all bullshit.
Sir Ivy: Yeah, you on some bullshit.

He's even with the house now, and you will keep your hands off him.

Brutus "Brutal" Howell

Jim Lovell: Uh, Houston, we are ready for the beginning of PTC, and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jack and I will eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey, I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.

Hey! If you want to see this seventh card you're gonna stop speakin' fuckin' Sputnick.

Worm

[upon seeing Amanda's bare room] Kidnapped the furniture, too?

Patrick Kenzie

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