Don't open my pantry, Father. I found one of them in there and I locked him in.

Ray Reddy

See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.

Sean

Tracy Abernathy: I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse?
Graham Hess: I suppose it would depend on its usage.
Tracy Abernathy: How about "John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?
Graham Hess: It's a curse.
Tracy Abernathy: Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

Merrill: Good enough for me.
Graham Hess: Me too.

I'm a miracle man.

Merrill

There is no one looking out for us. We are all alone.

Graham Hess

Graham Hess: Come on, now, you're too old to be doing this. You get a glass of water, and leave it lying around instead of finishing it. Now what's wrong with this one?
Bo: It has dust in it.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: A hair.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: Morgan took a sip and it's got his amoebas in it.

See this is why we're not watching TV, people become obsessed.

Graham Hess

Officer Caroline: Merrill... how's work at the gas station?
Merrill: Stimulating.

That's ridiculous. How can anyone possibly know that information? What else does it say?

Graham Hess

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

Tyler Durden

Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred and sixty million dollars behind this door.
Linus: Let's get him out.

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