I really do hate the children.

Dolores Umbridge

You lose, old man.
[Harry possessed by Lord Voldemort]

Lord Voldemort

I'm half and half. Dad's a muggle, Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

Seamus Finnigan

Ron, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon!

Hermione Granger

Dolores Umbridge: [as the centaurs are taking Umbridge away] Please, tell them I mean no harm.
Harry Potter: Sorry, Professor, but I must not tell lies.

Hermione Granger: So what was it like?
[speaking about Harry's kiss]
Harry Potter: Kind of wet.
Hermione Granger: Well, she has been crying a lot lately...
Ron Weasley: Well, you'd think a bit of snogging would make her happy

[hotwiring a neighbor's minivan] He's had my barbecue set for months.

John Smith

We've got something he doesn’t have. We've got something worth fighting for.

Harry Potter

Hagrid: Blimey, I'd love a dragon.
Harry: You'd like a dragon?
Hagrid: Vastly misunderstood beasts, Harry. Vastly misunderstood.

Dolores Umbridge: [during an inspection] You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?
Severus Snape: Yes.
Dolores Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful?
Severus Snape: Obviously.

Harry: Good of you to get us out of trouble like that.
Ron: Mind you, we did save her life!
Harry: Mind you, she might not have needed saving if you hadn't insulted her.
Ron: What are friends for?

Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith: Paid actor.
John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!

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