Alice: How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?
Dan: That's my charm.

A good fight is never clean.

Larry

For your information Potter, Asphodel and Wormwood making a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the draught of the living dead, a Beozar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and will save you from most poisons. As for Monkshood and Wolfsbane, they are the same plant which also goes by the name of Aconyte. Well, why aren't you all copying this down?

Professor Severus Snape

Dan: I fell in love.
Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it," and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.

Hermione: Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.
Ron: I'm ready! Ask me any questions.
Hermione: All right, what's the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?
Ron: I forgot.
Hermione: And what may I ask do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?
Ron: Copy off you?
Hermione: No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!

Larry: Dan...
Dan: Yes?
Larry: I lied to you, I did fuck Alice.

Larry: I want you to tell me your name. Please.
[throws down money]
Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane.
Larry: Your real name.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane.
Larry: Careful.
[throws down more money]
Alice: Thank you. Still Jane.
Larry: I've about got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money, and you tell me what your real name is, Alice.
[throws down all his money]
Alice: I promise.
[picks up some of the money]
Alice: Thank you. My real name... is plain... Jane Jones.

Alice: What's your work?
Dan: I'm sort of... journalist.
Alice: What sort?
Dan: I write obituaries.

Alice: Who was your last boyfriend?
Anna: My husband.
Alice: Was he English?
Anna: Very.

Anna: I don't kiss strange men.
Dan: Neither do I.

John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.

What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows.

Dumbledore

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