You're not hopeless.

Bob

Bob: I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room...
Charlotte: Mmm, that's nice!
Bob: And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain.

Bob: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids.
Charlotte: That's scary.
Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.
Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that.
Bob: Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk... and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.
Charlotte: That's nice.

Enjoy your fright.

Bob

Enjoy my jacket, which you stole from me.

Bob

Charlotte: So, what are you doing here?
Bob: Uh, a couple of things. Taking a break from my wife, forgetting my son's birthday. And, uh, getting paid two million dollars to endorse a whiskey when I could be doing a play somewhere.
Charlotte: Oh.
Bob: But the good news is the whiskey works.

Vacation's when you go somewhere... and you don't ever come back.

Mrs. Gump

Bob: I don't want to leave.
Charlotte: So don't. Stay here with me. We'll start a jazz band.

Charlotte: 25 years. That's, uh, well it's impressive.
Bob: Well you figure, you sleep one-third of your life, that knocks out eight years of marriage right there. So you're, y'know, down to 16 and change. You know, you're just a teenager at marriage. You can drive it but there's still the occasional accident.

Translator: Right side. And with more... intensity. Okay?
Bob: Is that everything? It seemed like he said quite a bit more than that.
Director: [to Bob, in Japanese] Listen, listen. This isn't just about whiskey. Understand? Imagine you're talking to an old friend. Gently. The emotions bubble up from the bottom of your heart. And don't forget, psych yourself up!
Translator: Like an old friend. Into the camera.
Bob: Okay.
Director: [in Japanese] Got it? You LOVE whiskey. It's SUNTORY time. Okay!?
Bob: Okay.
Director: Okay!?
Bob: [nods]
Director: Okay!

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Tyler Durden

Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!
Ron: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!

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