I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot...

Scotty

Too many things too many things too many things... I wanna go for a walk. Let's go for a walk.

Amber Waves

[after firing a rocket launcher] We should so not be allowed to buy these.

John Smith

Dirk: I can't. I just can't get it hard. I just can't. I'm sorry.
Surfer: You shouldn't do this sorta thing, faggot.

Buck Swope: Doesn't it scare you? Working with evil forces?
Reed Rothchild: What?
Buck Swope: Evil forces.
Reed Rothchild: Evil? No man, it's not evil. It's an illusion.
Buck Swope: Confusion?

Buck Swope: You're not being fair. This isn't fair.
Bank Worker: This financial institution cannot endorse pornography.
Buck Swope: Stop saying pornography. Why are you doing this to me? I am an actor. I am an actor.

I wanna fuck. It's my fucking big dick. Who wants to fuck?

Dirk

I have other interests. I'm a magician.

Reed Rothchild

If John Doe's head splits open and a UFO should fly out, I want you to have expected it.

William Somerset

Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come?
Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready.
Dirk: Where should I come?
Amber Waves: Where do you want?
Dirk: Wherever you tell me.
Amber Waves: Come on my tits, if you can, okay? Just pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can.

John Doe: Don't ask me to pity those people. I don't mourn them any more than I do the thousands that died at Sodom and Gomorrah.
William Somerset: Is that to say, John, that what you were doing was God's good work?
John Doe: The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!

John Smith

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