Amos Calloway: Tell me, Karl, have you ever heard the term "involuntary servitude"?
Karl: No.
Amos Calloway: "Unconscionable contract"?
Karl: Uh, nope.
Amos Calloway: Great!

Karl: I don't want to eat you. I just get so hungry. I'm just too big.
Young Ed Bloom: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big? That maybe this place is just too small?

Young Ed Bloom: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.

Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?
Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.

Young Jenny: Promise me you'll come back
Young Ed Bloom: I promise. Someday. When I'm really supposed to.

Senior Ed Bloom: I've told you a thousand facts, Will, that's what I do. I tell stories.
Will Bloom: You tell lies, Dad.

Josephine: I'd like to take your picture.
Senior Ed Bloom: Oh, you don't need a picture. Just look up "handsome" in the dictionary.

Farmer #1: [noting Jack outside] Say... that the piss ant that used to ride the bulls?
Farmer #2: Used to *try*.

Alma Jr., Age 13: Daddy, tell about when you rode broncs in the rodeo.
Ennis Del Mar: Short story honey. Only 'bout three seconds I was on that bronc. Next thing I knew, I was flyin' through the air... only I wasn't no angel like you and Jenny here; didn't have no wings. And that's the story of my saddle bronc career.

Cassie Cartwright: [on the verge of tears] I don't get you, Ennis del Mar.
Ennis del Mar: I'm sorry.
[he pauses]
Ennis del Mar: Was probably no fun anyway, was I?
Cassie Cartwright: [crying] Ennis, girls don't fall in love with fun!

Jack Twist: Why is it always so friggin' cold? We oughta go south where it's warm, you know, we oughta go to Mexico!
Ennis Del Mar: Mexico? Hell Jack, you know me, about all the travelin' I ever done is round a coffee pot lookin' for the handle.

You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?

Adhemar

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