Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?
Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.

Neville: Day one thousand and one. We came in close contact with a hive today. Blood tests confirm that I remain immune to both the airborne and contact strains. Canines remain immune to airborne strain only. The vaccine trials continue. I'm still unable to transfer my immunity to infected hosts. The Krippen Virus is... elegant.
[mind wanders]
Neville: Just fishin' in the dark, son.
[after a long pause, going back to his train of thought]
Neville: Behavioral note - an infected male exposed himself to sunlight today. Now it's possible decreased brain function or growing scarcity of food is causing them to... ignore their basic survival instincts. Social de-evolution appears complete. Typical human behavior is now entirely absent.

I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!

Murphey Bivens

Charlie Bartlett: [passes a note to Susan] Hi, I'm Charlie Bartlett
Susan Gardner: [replies on a new piece of paper] Yeah, I know.

I'm just a stupid kid.

Charlie Bartlett

Never attack a drunk guy with a gun.

Principal Gardner

Sir, would it help if I said I'd be considerably less likely to end my life if you let us do this?

Kip Crombwell

Principal Gardner: Charlie, there are more important things than popularity!
Charlie Bartlett: Like what? Cause I'm seventeen. And right now, popularity's pretty damn important!
Principal Gardner: Like what you do with that popularity.

Well duh dude, this place sucks. But I just worry that one day we're gonna look back at high school and wish we'd done something different.

Charlie Bartlett

Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

Anthony: [as he let go all the Asian people that are in the truck] Look, here's 40 bucks. Buy everybody chop suey.
[an Asian man takes the money and doesn't say anything as he leaves]
Anthony: Dopey fucking Chinaman.

Graham: That is a nice gun.
Ria: Well, the car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. And that's not Cindy. That is a William Lewis.
[hands him a wallet]
Ria: Found under the front seat. Hollywood Division.
Graham: Looks like Detective Conklin shot himself the wrong nigga.

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