Kevin Lomax: God dammit, what did you do to my wife?
John Milton: Well, on a scale of one to ten... ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre know to man... one being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about...
[counts on his fingers]
John Milton: ... seven.

Eddie Barzoon: Did you get my message?
John Milton: Yeah Eddie, you write beautiful!

John Milton: So... have we been treating you well?
Kevin Lomax: Very well, thank you.
John Milton: And your wife? She had a good time?
Kevin Lomax: She sure has, it's been great. The while thing's been great.
John Milton: That's our secret. Kill you with kindness.

David Green: You never told me what religion you are.
Chris Reese: I'm a Methodist.
David Green: A Methodist. And all this time I didn't know it.

The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. The Shadow knows.

McGivern

McGivern: If I don't get total tit tonight, I will be using this razor to cut my throat. As I see it, sex is my only reason for living.
Charlie Dillon: Then be careful you don't cut your hand.

Jack Connors: Okay, I'll admit it, you know. I'm an anti-Semite. I crack Jew jokes, think they're dirty, greedy. And you know what? David Greene's the only one I've ever known up close.
McGoo: What's you're point, Connors?
Jack Connors: He's a good guy.

Dr. Bartram: I want to forget this whole thing ever happened.
David Green: You're never going to forget this happened. You used me for football, now I'll use you to get into Harvard.

Charlie Dillon: You know something? I'm still gonna get into Harvard. And in 10 years no one will remember any of this. But you'll still be a goddamn Jew.
David Green: And you'll still be a prick.

Everybody's asking me what it's like to kiss a Jew.

Sally Wheeler

I have a confession to make, I think about you more then I ought too.

Sally Wheeler

True story, last weekend there was a religious revival at Madison Square Garden. Bishop Fulton Sheen made such a stirring speech that 10,000 people converted to Catholicism. Then Billy Graham got up and did some inspired preaching and 10,000 people converted to Protestantism, then to close the program, Pat Boone got up and sang "There's A Gold Mine In The Sky" and 20,000 Jews joined the Air Force!

Charlie Dillon

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