I was an only child. He was an only dog.

Narrator

Jack Morris: You know I.C.? Colored fellow at the service station?
Ellen Morris: Sure.
Jack Morris: His son came back from Europe today.
Ellen Morris: Wonderful.
Jack Morris: In a box.

Like all dogs, Skip was colorblind. He made friends easily with people of all races and origins. The town was segregated back then, but as we know, dogs are a whole lot smarter than people.

Narrator

There were so many surprises that year. Who'd have thought that my daddy would ever let me play football? And who'd have dreamed that Rivers Applewhite, the prettiest girl in town, would let me hold her hand? It was indeed a strange and unusual time. Old Skip had helped me through the stuggles of boyhood. But his job was far from done.

Narrator

Old Skip was 11, and feeble with arthritis, but he never lost that old devilish look in his eye. He made my room his own. Came across an old photo of him not long ago. His little face, with the long snout sniffing at something in the air. His tail was straight out and pointing. Eyes were flashing in some momentary excitement. He always loved to be rubbed on the back of his neck. And when I did it, he'd yawn, and he'd stretch, reach out to me with his paws as if he was trying to embrace me. I recieved a trans-atlantic call one day. "Skip died", Daddy said. He and my mama wrapped him him my baseball jacket. They buried him out under the elm tree, they said. That wasn't totally true. For he really lay buried in my heart.

Narrator

Sybil Stone: He's gonna ask me for that ring...
Susannah Stone: Mom, *enough* about the ring.

Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: He is?
Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus...
Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: I DIDN'T KNOW!

Hey! I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!

Ben Stone

We will try to welcome her back in, like a *civilized* family might.

Kelly Stone

Meredith Morton: What's so great about you guys?
Sybil Stone: Uh, nothing... it's just that we're all that we've got.

John Trousdale: First thing's first: Who's Amy making out with in the ambulance?

Calm down. You've been drinking Cokes all day.

Ben Stone

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