Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die.
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.

Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god awful smell?
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.

It's kind of a win-win situation.

Chuck Wetherhold

I think he smelled the pot!

Vanessa Wetherhold

Vanessa Wetherhold: You should really make your bed. It sets the tone for the day.
Chuck Wetherhold: But, how do you know what tone I was trying to set?

You're a giant toddler!

Lawrence Wetherhold

Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?
Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
Lawrence Wetherhold: Point taken.

Harry Pfarrer: Go around the corner, we'll do it in the back.
Katie Cox: You're so coarse.
Harry Pfarrer: Back of the car... not the rear entry situation.

[over the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be wooorrried...about the secuuurrrity...of your shit.

Chad Feldheimer

Our world as we know it is much simpler...to put to an end than you might think.

Ed Hoffman

CIA Officer: We'll ... interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. Burn the body. Get rid of it.
CIA Officer: Okay.

You don't become a cop because you want to serve and protect. You join the force because they let you carry a gun and a badge. You do it because you get respect.

Turk

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