Captain: They look thirsty!
King Leonidas: Well, let's give them something to drink! To the cliffs!

I think he's a genius. Like when I was your age, and I'd have a rage seizure, he'd put on music to lower my blood pressure. Nat King Cole. "Stardust." Revolutionary sort of stuff, you know? Worked everytime. If he hadn't adopted me... shit, I don't know what I would've done.

Neil Bookman

Lucy: I won't read the word!
Sam: I'm your father and I'm telling you to read the word. Cause I can tell you to because I'm your father.
Lucy: I'm stupid.
Sam: You are not stupid!
Lucy: Yes, I am.
Sam: No, you are not stupid 'cause you can read that word.
Lucy: I don't wanna read it if you can't.
Sam: No, because it makes me happy! It makes me happy hearing you read. Yeah, it makes me happy when you're reading.
Lucy: [Lucy reads again]

Lord, make me your instrument of peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring love. Where there is darkness, light. For it is in giving we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. It is in dying... that we awake to eternal life.

Reverend Arthur Marsh

So you lie to yourself to be happy. There's nothing wrong with that. We all do it.


Caterer: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here.
Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me.
Caterer: Excuse me?
Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone.
Caterer: ...asshole.
Lester Burnham: I think you just became my personal hero!

Frankie Ballenbacher: "Have got it under control."
Susan Hartunian: Have got it under control.

Sweep the gutters before the taste police arrive.


For reasons passing understanding, people do not relate guns to gun-related crime.

President Andrew Shepherd

Alicia: [about stars] I once tried to count them all. I, actually, made it to 4,348.
Nash: You are exceptionally odd.
Alicia: I bet you're very popular with the girls.

Bartender: The bar's closed.
Aileen: Then do you think you could pull that stick out of your ass? Hm? Now that "the bar's closed."

Aragorn: I swore to protect you.
Frodo: Can you protect me from yourself?

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