Bill: Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart technique?
The Bride: Of course he did.
Bill: Why didn't you tell me?
The Bride: I don't know... because I'm a bad person.
Bill: No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt.

Alex: Why did you take off?
B. Rabbit: I don't live here.
Alex: So? Why did you take off?

Annette: I don't know if this'll help. But sometimes when I'm feeling down, I turn to Jesus and he helps me through it.
Kathryn: Thank you.
Annette: All right, well, I'll see you around campus.
Kathryn: Looking forward to it... Freak.

What's in the box?

David Mills

Newman: I can't hear anything, my ear is... I can't believe you did that.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: You think I should have bargained with that guy?
Newman: Yeah I do. You could've missed. You could've killed me.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: How bad is that ear?
Newman: I'm gonna have permanent hearing damage.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: [whispers] Can you hear what I'm saying now?
Newman: Yeah.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I... don't... bargain.

Old McDonald had a farm ee i ee i o. And on that farm he shot some guys. Badda boom badda bing bang boom.


No diet works. The only way to lose weight in the thighs is amputation.


Rusty Sabich: Sandy, How did you know what was behind Larren's fear of the B File?
Sandy Stern: Ahh, you question the judge's integrity?
Rusty Sabich: With good reason, wouldn't you say? You knew that file didn't have a damn thing to do with my case and yet you let Larren know you'd drag it in at any opportunity. That it would come out he was taking bribes. You blackmailed him, Sandy.
Sandy Stern: We speak now, tonight, and then these things are never spoken of again, agreed? Larren's divorce left him in a state of disorder. He was drinking much too heavily and he fell into a relationship with a beautiful, but uh, self-serving woman. The truth is, Larren's behavior became so bad that he wanted to resign from the bench. Raymond Horgan talked him out of it.
Rusty Sabich: Raymond knew he was taking bribes?
Sandy Stern: Larren told him. Raymond cleaned up the North side and he also rescued a distinguished mind and career that does honor to the bench. I believe Larren today did what he thought was just. You tell me, Rusty. Was justice done?

Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had.

Tyler Durden

Big Dave: Listen, I ain't saying a fucking word. I already talked to the fucking cops.
Patrick Kenzie: All right. Dave, right?
Big Dave: Big Dave.
Patrick Kenzie: Big Dave. All right. I'm Medium Patrick. Nice to meet you.
Big Dave: You're a little fucking light in the ass to be talking shit, ain't ya?

[running through Bedford Falls] Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!

George Bailey

You know, for an old man you ain't bad in a fight. What are you, like 80?

Mutt Williams

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