[after quizzing the hostages on their fake bios and the one hostage paused] Shoot him, he's an American Spy!

Tony Mendez

John Chambers: [after hearing of the plan to get the hostages out] So you want to come to Hollywood, act like a big shot...
Tony Mendez: Yeah.
John Chambers: ...without actually doing anything?
Tony Mendez: Yeah.
John Chambers: [smiles] You'll fit right in!

Bad news, bad news. Even when it's good news, it's bad news. John Wayne in the ground 6 months and this is what is left of America.

Lester Siegel

Tony Mendez: We are responsible for these people.
Jack O'Donnell: What we are is required to follow orders.

Brace yourself; it's like talking to those two old fucks from The Muppets.

Jack O'Donnell

Jack O'Donnell: Carter said you were a great American.
Tony Mendez: A great American what?
Jack O'Donnell: He didn't say.

This is the best bad plan we have, sir.

Tony Mendez

We're gonna need a script.

Lester Siegel

Can I come in?

Tony Mendez

This is the best bad plan we have... by far, sir.

Jack O'Donnell

Tony Mendez: You really know Warren Beatty?
Lester Siegel: Yes, I do. I took a leak next to him at a Golden Globes party once.

The president's shitting bricks so high he can build the pyramids himself.

Jack O'Donnell

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