You know, some people take things for granted, like the ability to chew solid food.

Robert

Gentlemen, keep your eyes open and your assholes puckered.

Robert

I want this town locked up so tight, it'll make his balls ache.

Robert

[to dead alligator] You're luggage!

John

Don't move, you're dead.

John

Alright, I want his face all over this windshield.

Robert

Hi, you've just been erased.

WitSec Ops

Lee: What happened?
John: They caught a train.

Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them.

Julius Benedict

If you're lying to me, I'll be back!

Julius Benedict

Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?

Vincent Benedict: You're a virgin!
Julius Benedict: That's private.
Vincent Benedict: A 230-pound virgin!

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