[Discussing her nail polish with Dolly Polito] There's something, the topcoat. It's like, perfumey, but there's also something, rotten. And I know that sounds crazy, but I can't get enough of it.

Rosalyn Rosenfeld

Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit.
Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think.
Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin?
Donnie Azoff: Her father is the brother of my mom. Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Out of respect.

Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit card?
Donnie Azoff: A rich one.

Sell me this pen!

Jordan Belfort

Jordan Belfort: [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now.
Mark Hanna: It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.

I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy.

Julius Benedict

I swear it, Ray, God sure was dressin' the wrong doll when he blessed you with a set of balls.

Ron Woodroof

I've been looking for you, lone star.

Rayon

That shit is purer than a preacher daughter's pussy, right there.

Ron Woodroof

Let me give y'all a little news flash. There ain't nothin' out there can kill fuckin' Ron Woodroof in 30 days.

Ron Woodroof

You know what? You don't deserve my money, you homophobic asshole.

Rayon

I like your style, doc.

Ron Woodroof

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