Charlotte: 25 years. That's, uh, well it's impressive.
Bob: Well you figure, you sleep one-third of your life, that knocks out eight years of marriage right there. So you're, y'know, down to 16 and change. You know, you're just a teenager at marriage. You can drive it but there's still the occasional accident.

Pete Conrad: Jim, you think it's too late for him to abort?
Jim Lovell: No, he still has time to get outta there, he just needs someone to wave him off.

David: No. Tell me now.
Sofía: I'll tell you later.
David: If something's wrong please tell me now.

Why is everything wrong?

Clarissa Vaughn

Ron: What are those?
Harry: My dress robes...
Ron: Well, those're all right! No lace, no dodgy little collar...
Harry: Well, I expect yours are more traditional...
Ron: Traditional? They're ancient! I look like my great aunt Tessie!
[takes a sniff in the underarm area]
Ron: I smell like my great Aunt Tessie!

Dalton Russell: You're too fucking smart to be a cop.
[He points a gun at Frazier]
Dalton Russell: Now get the fuck out of here.
Keith Frazier: What? You gonna shoot me? Go ahead, shit, you got nothing to lose, I damn sure got nothing to lose, so go ahead, shoot me. Shoot me.
Dalton Russell: [pause] Fuck you. Tell them to send someone sane over here.

That's where the fish are!

Captain Billy Tyne

Willy Wonka: Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon.
Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas sing] Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, a great big greedy nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy, foul, and infantile...

Goddamn FBI don't respect nothin'.


Ah, get me Long Beach 4-5620. please


A long time ago, in the underground realm, where there are no lies or pain, there lived a Princess who dreamed of the human world. She dreamed of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine. One day, eluding her keepers, the Princess escaped. Once outside, the brightness blinded her and erased every trace of the past from her memory. She forgot who she was and where she came from. Her body suffered cold, sickness, and pain. Eventually, she died. However, her father, the King, always knew that the Princess' soul would return, perhaps in another body, in another place, at another time. And he would wait for her, until he drew his last breath, until the world stopped turning...


I used to be smart, but now I'm just stupid.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

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