You know you got the wrong guy, right?


[on phone] Tell Dr. Cox I have the new keys!
[Osbourne hangs up, and picks up a hatchet]

Osborne Cox

Rooster: So long, Tom.
Turk: Where are you going?
Rooster: I dunno. To hell, I suppose.

[voiceover] A real chip off the old block, my daughter. She said I was a cop, and a good one. Funny... Rooster said the same thing.


Sorry, I don't happen to know my account number because unfortunately I don't sit around all day trying to memorize the fucking numbers!

Osborne Cox

[after shooting Chad] What the fuck? I killed a spook.

Harry Pfarrer

Linda Litzke: I'm really looking for a guy with a sense of humor.
Chad Feldheimer: That guy, wait, that guy wasn't bad.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: No before.
Linda Litzke: Him?
Chad Feldheimer: Umm, he might not be a loser...
Linda Litzke: How can you tell?
Chad Feldheimer: That's a Brioni suit.
Linda Litzke: Yeah?
Chad Feldheimer: Shit yeah!
Linda Litzke: Does he look like he would have a sense of humor?
Chad Feldheimer: Looks like his optometrist has a sense of humor.

Appearances can be... deceptive.

Chad Feldheimer

You think it's a Schwinn!

Chad Feldheimer

Sean Jones: I've never flown on a plane before.
Neville Flynn: See? Things are looking up already.

Oh Great. Snakes on crack!

Neville Flynn

Ken: [while examining bite wound on Leroy's buttocks] Okay, looks like the venom has to be sucked out.
[Looks around]
Ken: Anyone? Ok, fine. I'll do it.
Big Leroy: [pushes Ken away] Oh, there will be no sucking! Get this guy away from my ass!

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