Lawrence Wetherhold: Why would you have a baby with me?
Janet Hartigan: Because you don't know how to properly use a condom.
Lawrence Wetherhold: Point taken.

You're a giant toddler!

Lawrence Wetherhold

Vanessa Wetherhold: You should really make your bed. It sets the tone for the day.
Chuck Wetherhold: But, how do you know what tone I was trying to set?

I think he smelled the pot!

Vanessa Wetherhold

It's kind of a win-win situation.

Chuck Wetherhold

Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god awful smell?
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.

Jonathan Carnahan: Die you mummy bastards. Die.
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language.

You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch.

Jonathan Carnahan

Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!

Jonathan Carnahan

Rick O'Connell: I. Really. Hate. Mummies.
Evelyn O'Connell: I think the feeling is mutual.

Jack: You got so much of your mother in you, you know that?
Nim Rusoe: That's a good thing, right?
Jack: Yeah, good. Sure. Unfortunately I could never win a fight with her, either.

I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just gonna kick his ass.

Hellboy

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