Hey! I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!

Ben Stone

Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: He is?
Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus...
Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
Meredith Morton: I DIDN'T KNOW!

Sybil Stone: He's gonna ask me for that ring...
Susannah Stone: Mom, *enough* about the ring.

Old Skip was 11, and feeble with arthritis, but he never lost that old devilish look in his eye. He made my room his own. Came across an old photo of him not long ago. His little face, with the long snout sniffing at something in the air. His tail was straight out and pointing. Eyes were flashing in some momentary excitement. He always loved to be rubbed on the back of his neck. And when I did it, he'd yawn, and he'd stretch, reach out to me with his paws as if he was trying to embrace me. I recieved a trans-atlantic call one day. "Skip died", Daddy said. He and my mama wrapped him him my baseball jacket. They buried him out under the elm tree, they said. That wasn't totally true. For he really lay buried in my heart.

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There were so many surprises that year. Who'd have thought that my daddy would ever let me play football? And who'd have dreamed that Rivers Applewhite, the prettiest girl in town, would let me hold her hand? It was indeed a strange and unusual time. Old Skip had helped me through the stuggles of boyhood. But his job was far from done.

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Like all dogs, Skip was colorblind. He made friends easily with people of all races and origins. The town was segregated back then, but as we know, dogs are a whole lot smarter than people.

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Jack Morris: You know I.C.? Colored fellow at the service station?
Ellen Morris: Sure.
Jack Morris: His son came back from Europe today.
Ellen Morris: Wonderful.
Jack Morris: In a box.

I was an only child. He was an only dog.

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Willie Morris: [grabs Junior and shakes him angrily] WHAT'D YOU DO TO HIM? THAT'S MY DOG! SKIP!
Junior Smalls: [grasps Willie] I told you to keep that damn mutt out of here.

It's not the dying that scares me, it's the killing.

Dink

I almost lost old Skip that day. Even as he was sleeping on the operating table, he was still teaching me. That day, I became a young man. Why, in childhood and youth, we wish time to pass so quickly. We want to grow up so fast. Yet, as adults, we wish just the opposite.

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Why in childhood and youth do we wish time to pass so quickly - we want to grow up so fast - yet as adults we wish just the opposite?

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