[voiceover] Come to Los Angeles! The sun shines bright, the beaches are wide and inviting, and the orange groves stretch as far as the eye can see. There are jobs aplenty, and land is cheap. Every working man can have his own house, and inside every house, a happy, all-American family. You can have all this, and who knows... you could even be discovered, become a movie star... or at least see one. Life is good in Los Angeles... it's paradise on Earth." Ha ha ha ha. That's what they tell you, anyway.

Sid Hudgens

Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

Sid Hudgens

Ed Exley: All I ever wanted was to measure up to my father.
Bud White: Now's your chance. He died in the line of duty, didn't he?

Bud White: Merry Christmas.
Lynn Bracken: Merry Christmas to you, officer.
Bud White: That obvious, huh?
Lynn Bracken: It's practically stamped on your forehead.

Bud White: I'd like to see you again.
Lynn Bracken: Are you asking me for a date or an appointment?
Bud White: I don't know.
Lynn Bracken: Well if you're asking me for a date I should know your first name.
Bud White: Forget I asked. It was a mistake.

Officer: What took you, Stensland?
Dick Stensland: My partner stopped to help a damsel in distress. He's got his priorities all screwed up.

Ed Exley: I heard you like to shoot dogs.
Ray Collins: Dogs got no reason to live.

Bud White: Well, Captain, what do you want?
Captain Dudley Smith: Call me Dudley.
Bud White: Dudley... what do you want?

Johnny Stompanato: You want an autograph? Write to MGM.
Ed Exley: Since when do two-bit hoods and hookers give out autographs?
Johnny Stompanato: What'd you say to me?
Ed Exley: LAPD. Sit down.
Lana Turner: Who in the hell do you think you are?
Jack Vincennes: Ed...
Ed Exley: Take a walk, honey, before I haul your ass downtown.
Johnny Stompanato: You are making a large mistake.
Lana Turner: Get away from our table.
Ed Exley: Shut up! A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker.
Johnny Stompanato: Hey!
Ed Exley: She just looks like Lana Turner.
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.
Ed Exley: What?
Jack Vincennes: She is Lana Turner.

Pierce Patchett: I use girls that look like movie stars. Sometimes I employ a plastic surgeon. When the work had been done, that's when you saw us.
Bud White: That's why her mother couldn't I.D. her. Jesus fucking Christ.
Pierce Patchett: No, Mr. White. Pierce Morehouse Patchett.

Jack Vincennes: I'm the technical advisor. I teach Brett Chase how to walk and talk like a cop.
Jack's Dancing Partner: Brett Chase doesn't walk and talk like you.
Jack Vincennes: Well, that's 'cause he's the television version. America isn't ready for the real me.

Jack Vincennes: All right, college boy, I'll help. But there's a case you boys in Homicide don't care about, you think it's just another Hollywood "homo"-cide. Well, I don't. You help me with mine, I'll help you with yours. Deal?
Ed Exley: Deal.

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