The game doesn't stink, Mr. Wheeler. It's a great game.

Billy Chapel

Jane Aubrey: Do you lose very much?
Billy Chapel: I lose. I've lost 134 times.
Jane Aubrey: You count them?
Billy Chapel: We count everything.

After 19 years in the big leagues, 40 year old Billy Chapel has trudged to the mound for over 4000 innings. But tonight, he's pitching against time, he's pitching against the future, against age, against ending. Tonight, he will make the fateful walk to the loneliest spot in the world, the pitching mound at Yankee Stadium, to push the sun back into the sky and give us one more day of summer.

Vin Scully

Jane Aubrey: I need a regular guy. Not the guy in the Old Spice commercials.
Billy Chapel: It was Right Guard.
Jane Aubrey: What?
Billy Chapel: It was Right Guard, not Old Spice.
Jane Aubrey: I was being metaphorical.

Jane Aubrey: It's not mine.
Billy Chapel: You mean it doubles as a flashlight?

Clear the mechanism.

Billy Chapel

Why do you wanna kill this woman?

Mr. Smith

Nothing could be more painful than listening to you jabberin' on and on.

Mr. Smith

Oh, you have caused me no end of trouble!

Mr. Hertz

Woman: You wanna buy bullets with food stamps?
Mr. Smith: It's as good as cash.

[after being propelled from his car into a van and shooting all occupants inside] So much for seatbelts.

Mr. Smith

Eat your vegetables.

Mr. Smith

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