Houston, we have a problem.Jim Lovell
NASA Director: This could be the worst disaster NASA's ever faced.
Gene Kranz: With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.
Congressman: Now Jim, people in my state keep asking why we're continuing to fund this program now that we've beaten the Russians to the Moon.
Jim Lovell: Imagine if Christopher Columbus had come back from the New World and no one returned in his footsteps.
Fred Haise, Sr.: I know why my numbers were wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Jack Swigert: Maybe I should just hold my breath.
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute... all I did was stir those tanks...
Fred Haise, Sr.: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
Fred Haise, Sr.: You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
Jim Lovell: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, I stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell HIM that.
Jim Lovell: Freddo, how long does it take to power up the LEM?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Three hours by the checklist.
Jim Lovell: We don't have that much time.
Fred Haise: It hurts when I urinate.
Jim Lovell: Well, you're not getting enough water.
Fred Haise: No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Jim Lovell: Well, that'd be a hot one at the debriefing for the flight surgeons... Another first for America's spacemen.
Ken Mattingly: 13, this is Houston, do you read?
Jim Lovell: Roger that, Ken. Are the flowers blooming in Houston?
Ken Mattingly: That's a negative, Jim. I do not have the measles.
Jim Lovell: Gentlemen, what are your intentions?
[Jack Swigert and Fred Haise turn around]
Jim Lovell: I'd like to go home.
Lunar module has just become a lifeboat.Gene Kranz
Gentlemen, it's been a privilege flying with you.Jim Lovell
Jack Swigert: Uplink completed. We got her back up, Ken. Boy, I wish you were here to see it.
Ken Mattingly: I'll bet you do.