You got the right to be bitch-slapped.

Smiley

Alonzo Harris: No, not your story. A story. Because you can't keep your mouth shut long enough for me to read my paper. Tell me a story.
Jake Hoyt: I don't think I know any stories.
Alonzo Harris: You don't know any stories? Okay, I'll tell you a story. This is a newspaper. It's 90 per cent bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story, right now.

Shit, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

Alonzo Harris

Believe it or not, I do try to do some good in the community.

Alonzo Harris

Yeah, you dead now. Turn down drugs to a dealer and the police chief is handing your wife a crisp flag. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Alonzo Harris

Yeah whatever. Whatever the fuck ever.

Alonzo Harris

Alonzo Harris: You got a kid, right?
Jake Hoyt: Yeah, I got a little girl.
Alonzo Harris: I've got five. All boys. You ever need a son, you let me know. I'll hook your old lady up. I can't miss.
Jake Hoyt: Can we not talk about my family?
Alonzo Harris: That's cool, I respect that. I remember what it was to have a pretty young bride. You probably still fuck her face to face, don't you?

It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.

Alonzo Harris

Jake Hoyt: That's street justice.
Alonzo Harris: What's wrong with street justice?
Jake Hoyt: Oh, what, so just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris: God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks like 'em.

You *know* I'm surgical with this bitch, Jake. How do you want it, dog? Closed casket? Remember that fool in the wheelchair? How do you think he got there?

Alonzo Harris

What happened... was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Jake

Learn that shit, brother. That shit'll get you killed. These motherfuckers out there be plotting all types of shit on you.

Alonzo

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