We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work.

Coach Boone

Coach Boone: Petey, how many feet are in a mile? How many feet are in a mile?
Petey Jones: [mumbles incoherently]
Coach Boone: 5,280 feet! You pick this ball up and run every one of 'em! You're killing me, Petey! You're killing me!

Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik. Man, what happened to you?
Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!
Petey Jones: That ain't funny!

Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!
Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!
Bertier: Left side!
Big Ju: Strong Side!

Nurse: Only kin's allowed in here.
Bertier: Alice, are you blind? Don't you see the family resemblance? That's my brother.

I didn't hear it... swear to God!

Ray Budds

Big Ju: You been doing you're job?
Bertier: I been doing my job.
Big Ju: Then why don't you tell your white buddies to block for Rev better because they have not blocked for him worth a blood nickel, and you know it! Nobody plays. Yourself included. I'm supposed to wear myself out for the team? What team? Nah. Nah, what I'm gonna do is look out for myself and I'ma get mine.
Bertier: See man, that's the worst attitude I ever heard.
Big Ju: Attitude reflect leadership, captain.

Bertier: Honesty? You want honesty? Honestly, I think you're nothing. Nothing but a pure waste of God-given talent. You don't listen to nobody man. Not even Doc or Boone. Shiver push on the line every time and you blow right past 'em. Push 'em, pull 'em. do something. You can't run over everyone in this league and every time you do you leave one of your teammates hanging out to dry, me in particular?
Big Ju: Why should I give a hoot about you? Huh? Or anyone else out there? You wanna talk about the ways you the captain?
Bertier: Right.

Bertier: Listen, I'm Gary, you're Julius. Let's just get some particulars and get this over with.
Big Ju: Particulars? Man, no matter what I tell you, you ain't neva gonna know nothing about me.
Bertier: Listen, I ain't running any more of these three-a-days
Big Ju: Well, what I got to say you really don't wanna hear 'cuz honesty ain't too high upon your people priorities.

Big Ju: There's too much male bonding in here.
Bertier: Enough!
Big Ju: What is going on here?
Bertier: He kissed me!

Bertier: Hey, Julius I was thinking we could...
Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: He's taking a shower.
Bertier: What do you want, man?
Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: You know what I want.

Y'all are acting like a bunch of sissies! Quit it!

Sheryl Yoast

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