This part of my life is called "internship."

Christopher Gardner

[narrating] This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."

Christopher Gardner

Homeless Guy #1: It's a time machine... I know it's a time machine...
Christopher Gardner: [narrating] This machine in my lap? It is not a time machine.

Hey, asshole! Are you all right, asshole?

Driver Who Hits Chris

[narrating] This part of my life... this part right here? This part is called "being stupid."

Christopher Gardner

Shoe-Spotting Intern: Hey, you're missing a shoe.
Christopher Gardner: Oh, hey, thanks!

Christopher is staying with me.

Christopher Gardner

Christopher: Knock knock.
Christopher Gardner: Who's there?
Christopher: Nobody.
Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?
Christopher: [silent]
Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?
Christopher: [silent]
Christopher Gardner: A-ha-ha, that's a good one, I like that!

Christopher: Knock knock.
Christopher Gardner: Who's there?
Christopher: Shelby.
Christopher Gardner: Shelby who?
Christopher: Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!
Christopher Gardner: Hey, that's good.

Christopher Gardner: How many planets are there?
Christopher: Um... 7?
Christopher Gardner: Seven? Nine! Okay, who's the king of the jungle?
Christopher: The gorilla?
Christopher Gardner: Gorilla? Nope. Lion.
Christopher: Yeah, lion, lion. You wanna hear something funny?

Dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you dummy!"

Christopher

Where are we going?

Christopher

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