Hot lesbian witches! It's fucking genius!

Charlie

Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?

Maxine

I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.

Dr. Lester

Craig, I don't find you attractive, but Lotte, I'm smitten with you. I am... but only when you're in Malkovich. When I was with him last night, I was looking into his eyes and could sense your feminine longing.

Maxine

Meet you in Malkovich in one hour.

Maxine

She has her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western.

Dr. Lester

Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.

Charlie

You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!

Craig Schwartz

Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?

Craig Schwartz

Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.

Lotte Schwartz

That which does not kill us makes us stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche

Title Card

I'm a wizard, mind you. This place is kept by powerful gods and spirits of kings. Harm my flesh and you will have to deal with the dead!

The Wizard

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