Did you know a young boy drowned here? He was my son. And today, is his birthday.

Pamela Voorhees

Hey, I'm not from around here, but I'm looking for my sister. She's gone missing.

Clay

Donna: [seeing prom] You gotta hand it to Crissy, though. This is amazing!
Claire: Does this mean we can't make fun of her anymore?

I love you... I have a condom.

Matt

Jenna: Right now, I feel safer with him than I do with you.
Trent: You just dug your own grave, bitch.

[during his interrogation, about Donna] Nothing can keep us apart... She has no family. All she has is me... You know we love one another... Ask Donna... We'll be together forever... together forever, that's my promise... I'll see you soon, Donna.

Richard Fenton

Richie: Do you know how many lakes there are named Crystal-something? Go to the supermarket, every single bottled water is named 'Crystal' something!
Wade: Aquafina.

[to Lawrence about Bree] I would have better luck having sex with a penguin than I would with that girl.

Chewie

[while watching Bree dancing] In my next life I want to come back as one of the buttons on the ass pockets of her jean shorts.

Chewie

Have you forgotten how to drink that? First, you bring it to your lips. Then you blow it. Then you suck.

Bree

California Charlie, used car salesman: I'm in no mood for trouble.
Marion Crane: What?
California Charlie, used car salesman: There's an old saying, "First customer of the day is always the trouble!" But like I say, I'm in no mood for it so I'm gonna treat you so fair and square that you won't have one human reason to give me...
Marion Crane: Can I trade my car in and take another?
California Charlie, used car salesman: Do anything you've a mind to. Bein' a woman, you will. That yours?
Marion Crane: Yes, it's just that - there's nothing wrong with it. I just...
California Charlie, used car salesman: Sick of the sight of it! Well, why don't you have a look around here and see if there's somethin' that strikes your eyes and meanwhile I'll have my mechanic give yours the once over. You want some coffee? I was just about...
Marion Crane: No, thank you. I'm in a hurry. I just want to make a change, and...
California Charlie, used car salesman: One thing people never oughtta be when they're buyin' used cars and that's in a hurry. But like I said, it's too nice a day to argue. I'll uh - shoot your car in the garage here.

Paul Sheldon: You know I never tasted meatloaf quite like this, what's your secret?
Annie Wilkes: My secret is, I always use fresh tomatoes, never canned. And to give it that extra zip, I mix a little Spam with the ground beef!
Paul Sheldon: Can't get this in a restaurant in New York.
Annie Wilkes: Oh, no.

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