Did you know a young boy drowned here? He was my son. And today, is his birthday.

Pamela Voorhees

Hey, I'm not from around here, but I'm looking for my sister. She's gone missing.

Clay

Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul Sheldon: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie Wilkes: What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you what's the matter! I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Anne, I can't write on this paper, Anne!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

I love you... I have a condom.

Matt

Lisa: What color is your dress?
Donna: It's a champagne color. Then it's a little sexy.

Lila Crane: Look, that old woman, whoever she is, she told Arbogast something. I want her to tell us the same thing.
Sam Loomis: Hold it, you can't go up there.
Lila Crane: Why not?
Sam Loomis: Bates.
Lila Crane: Then, let's find him. One of us can keep him occupied while the other gets to the old woman.
Sam Loomis: You'll never be able to hold him still even if he doesn't want to be held. And, I don't like you going into that house alone.
Lila Crane: I can handle a sick old woman!

Richie: Do you know how many lakes there are named Crystal-something? Go to the supermarket, every single bottled water is named 'Crystal' something!
Wade: Aquafina.

[to Lawrence about Bree] I would have better luck having sex with a penguin than I would with that girl.

Chewie

[while watching Bree dancing] In my next life I want to come back as one of the buttons on the ass pockets of her jean shorts.

Chewie

Have you forgotten how to drink that? First, you bring it to your lips. Then you blow it. Then you suck.

Bree

Donna: [seeing prom] You gotta hand it to Crissy, though. This is amazing!
Claire: Does this mean we can't make fun of her anymore?

[during his interrogation, about Donna] Nothing can keep us apart... She has no family. All she has is me... You know we love one another... Ask Donna... We'll be together forever... together forever, that's my promise... I'll see you soon, Donna.

Richard Fenton

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