Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty: Hey, shush, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.

[from trailer] People will continue to hurt you, and let you down...

Jigsaw

Annie Wilkes: YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU!
Paul Sheldon: What?
Annie Wilkes: She can't be dead, MISERY CHASTAIN CANNOT BE DEAD!
Paul Sheldon: Annie, sometimes during childbirth, women don't survive. But Misery's SPIRIT is still alive... we shouldn't forget that.
Annie Wilkes: I DON'T WANT HER SPIRIT! I WANT HER, AND YOU MURDERED HER!
Paul Sheldon: No I didn't.
Annie Wilkes: WHO DID?
Paul Sheldon: She just died, slipped away!
Annie Wilkes: SLIPPED AWAY! NO, YOU MURDERED MY MISERY!

Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready?
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.

My name is Barnabas Collins. Two centuries ago, I made Collinwood my home... until a jealous witch cursed me, condemning me to the shadows, for all time.

Barnabas Collins

Hey, Sweden!

MacReady

My father was a great man, a hero, so they say. But sometimes the world doesn't need another hero, sometimes what it needs is a monster.

Ingeras

[seeing Alice Cooper] Ugliest woman I've ever seen.

Barnabas Collins

Rudeness is an epidemic.

Hannibal Lecter

I thought you were good Paul... but you're not good. You're just another lying ol' dirty birdy.

Annie Wilkes

That was longer than a heartbeat.

Jim

That room is fucking evil.

Gerald Olin

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