I don't want her to have to fucking cope.

Selena

Well, I think Bill's got a point. If you look at the whole life of the planet, we... you know, man, has only been around for a few blinks of an eye. So if the infection wipes us all out, that is a return to normality.

Sergeant Farrell

I promised them women.

Major Henry West

Selena: We have enough food.
Jim: Yeah, but we don't have any cheeseburgers.

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."

Mark

Oh, great. Valium. Not only will we be able to go to sleep, if we get attacked in the middle of the night, we won't even care.

Jim

This is what I've seen in the four weeks since infection. People killing people. Which is much what I saw in the four weeks before infection, and the four weeks before that, and before that, and as far back as I care to remember. People killing people. Which to my mind, puts us in a state of normality right now.

Major Henry West

Private Jones: Mitch, I fucking got one!
Corporal Mitchell: What you want a fucking sweetie? Keep shooting, you cunt!

My family's always been in meat.

Hitchhiker

[referring to the Hitchhiker] I think we just picked up Dracula.

Franklin

Those girls... those girls don't wanna go messin' round no old house!

Old Man

[when approaching a slaughterhouse] What's that stench?

Kirk

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